Resurrection

Hi all, my blog has risen from its slumber.

Shaking and Faith
The period following my previous post on 19 Oct was an undulating time of falling and picking myself up, over and over. Tiring and drying. I had to overcome some disappointments from that time, and also had to acknowledge some failures that came therein.

Nonetheless following the dark valley, here I am, redeemed, refreshed, restored. I'm thankful that God is ever-faithful, unchanging and always present. Forgiveness came to us free of charge simply because we are children of God and we are the Blessed, the Redeemed, Saints, sons of God. This identity we have in Christ is something that I've come to appreciate a lot more and really KNOW it in my heart and life, not just knowing it in my head.

What i'm trying to say is that whilst I was in the struggle, I was a desert (spiritually) and I began to doubt my own faith. Thoughts from the devil that caused me not to stand on the firm foundation of the Lord. Being apart from God is a very weakening experience indeed. But once I began to take the time once again to be reconciled with God, to reflect on his Word and to set aside everything that had hindered my walk, the presence of God was like rain.

Some others have referred to the time as a testing time that God had allowed, others say that I was just going through disobedience, and some say that I had been given to temptations that distracted me from my walk. I guess all that applies in the different aspects of the time. It just means that I have to learn from all of it and strengthen myself against it. Once again I draw encouragement from Luke22:31-32, especially 32b which is Jesus' command to Peter: "and when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

Also this time of sifting has really taught me to rely on God. It showed me all my weaknesses and pointed me in a direction. (I'm really not elaborating here.)

Let's just say that Christ is our Rock, whom we stand upon.

Psalm 30:6-7: "⁶ When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken." ⁷ O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed"

Refiner's Fire

This segment is about my testimony at cell on 13/11/09. Whilst a lot of testimonies are about how God has blessed the person recounting the testimony, mine was about how I was currently in a struggle, one that I knew God was allowing me to go through, and for everyone to stay tune for part II (which is guaranteed to be a lot more exciting).


 I shared first about my struggles. The first was about my shaken faith: "God, are you actually there?" and "God, I thought I knew you. Do I?" and also my troubles with what I observed in others, whether I was being deceived by the enemy or if there was a certain degree of hypocrisy in some actions. In addition, I was under spiritual attack (which I reserve comment on).

Second was what I felt to be a silence from God. Did I blog about this before? Well, it was ongoing.


Third was how I was in a struggle with my personal weaknesses. Pride, jealousy, anti-social tendencies, judgmental attitude etc.


Next, I shared about the lessons that I knew God was teaching me. Perseverance, and this from verses that were shown to me in my prayers [Rom5:3-4, James1:12]; Joy, which comes from the Lord; Submission to Him (really basic thing that I was lacking in); to be Still (often reminded); and also some things from the past that I had to recover from.


The bottom line of my struggle was this: I wanted God to be more real in my life. And I had told God to show himself to be real, even if I was to go through testing and hardship, but at least I would know that He was there. It's like how Jacob knew God was God because he struggled with God.


Even in the struggles, I knew that God was working because He had given me guidance and providence in several aspects. Also that God had showed me something that was to come in my discipleship under Derrick.


The end of my testimony was that when God refines, He refines with fire. It is only when silver has been passed through extreme heat that the impurities are consumed and the pure, precious silver remains. 1Pet:1:6-7 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed."