May I begin this post with thanks to my father for buying this lens for me. To those who have no idea what the numbers above mean, it means this lens is able to open up a wide aperture, giving a shallow depth of field which means that only objects at a specific distance from the camera are in focus, and everything else is softened, or out-of-focus:
Public Law Exam
Since the last post a week ago, I have been facing this exam. Although there were only 7 broad topics, the subject, in all character of a law subject, has plenty to be read.
To begin with, I had spent Sunday clearing up work of all the other subjects so that the whole week was dedicated to Public Law. Monday and Tuesday I focused on reading the textbook; and when I turned up to lecture on Wednesday, our professor told us that the very chapters I'd studied were not tested. This is a loss of 2 days.
I began to struggle in the next three days. I was unable to focus in reading; I'd sit for 30 to 60 minutes staring at text and none of it registered. I tried speed reading, I tried copying, I tried making side notes, I tried sleeping and getting back to it. Nothing worked. I prayed and prayed, and nothing happened.
What was happening to me? I knew that I was not a strong reader, but this was really ridiculously below my minimum studying performance. Had I burned out again?
I knew that I am supposed to depend on God in all things, and I have kept that in heart and mind. The thought running through my head was: Is God going to reduce me to complete weakness, to make me fall so that He can catch me? As this season gets increasingly trying, I know I am being stretched.
I could only turn up to the exam with what little had made sense to me for all the hours of fruitless labour, with no courage to be faithful or hopeful.
The exam itself was easy; it was a year one exam with no perusal time and only 75 minutes for 3 questions. The topic was not elusive; although it was hard to be certain which topics were within the scope of the questions because of the broad inter-relatedness between all of them such as parliamentary sovereignty, constitutionalism, judicial review, bill of rights, federation, rule of law...
I could only write out a bit of what I knew; the answers seemed short and lacking. If it offers any comfort I know that for the last question I had raised a point that few others would have thought of.
There is nothing that can be done now but to pray: the paper is in the hands of the examiner. I can only ask for a fair marking. More importantly, the command to give thanks in all circumstances, and look forward to the next few weeks of assignments and the not-so-distant final exams.
I Walk By Faith
Last Saturday I was at the CityCat terminal at West End before going to the market, and I saw this lady on a motorized wheelchair, alone. Not much to notice, though she seemed to be able to move only one hand to control the joystick of the motorized cheer. Her short limbs and stout torso suggested that she had been unable to move on her own since young, possibly from birth.
I overheard as she flagged a bus. Without turning around, I heard the exchange:
Driver: 'You're lucky this week, huh.'
Lady: 'Yup. Always am.'
Driver: 'Any other driver wouldn't have stopped, lucky I did.'
Lady: 'God knew I was coming today.'
The driver proceeds to open the wheelchair ramp for her to get on.
Lady: 'I'm getting off at the stop before Central Station.'
Driver: 'Sure thing.'
This simple faith, the dependence on God really spoke to me. I reflected on how I was doing a lot of things by the ability of my hands, legs and mind. This lady, who could depend on only her right hand to move her wheelchair and her mouth to speak, lived completely by faith that God would bring her to the next place and provide her every need. Did I depend on God in the same way?
This brings back Prov 3:5-6 all over again.
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