I Could Be Wrong

Phenomenon of Separation by Distance
Just a little thing I noticed. No names will be mentioned; no particular instances referred to. I'm just sharing my thoughts.

Desires
I believe that desires are like trees; you feed them, they grow. Some of them don't even exist until a seed is planted. A greedy desire for money doesn't grow until the person has first had a taste of more money than he needs, and wants more. A desire to do better than other students (not a bad thing, necessarily) does not grow until the student has had some success and begins to want more.

A man's desire for a woman doesn't grow until he first comes into contact with her. As more time is spent and they come into closer proximity, the desire grows. This one of the topics in the gender empowerment event of Hope Brisbane, wherein the sisters were brought to awareness of how their innocent charm, honest beauty and wholesome personalities [all this, of course, is perceived by the man who desires for her] can cause brothers to stumble.

What I theorize is that when a man has entered into a relationship with a woman, this desire grows. Each level of involvement swells into longing for more. Wanting to walk side by side becomes wanting to sit together; to holding hands; to holding her shoulder; to waist......

I then follow by establishing that a man who is in a relationship has activated this desire; a man who is out of 'romantic' contact with any female has less of such a desire; or the desire is dormant. Are monks and priests completely free of such desire for a female, then? Not completely, but as compared to a man who indulges in female proximity, such as a party-going womanizer, their urge is tranquilized by years (or a lifetime) of refraining and much more docile.

Self-Control
What then if a man in a relationship is separated from his partner by distance? Work sends him overseas (wherein executive begin to see mistresses/prostitutes); he returns to his home country to be with his parents (and the girl from his village who he used to play with in childhood)...... he goes overseas to pursue further education.

The desire still exists; he has a fleshly longing for female company. Without the partner around, what happens? Infidelity (note the title of today's post though). Whilst his heart or mind still remains on his partner, does his physical desire stray?


I have noticed several friends (and friends of friends) in this situation; their longing soon has to satisfy itself in the females they meet here. Often not a single female, but several who they are 'close friends' with. Once again, I could be wrong. But actions do not lie; body language does not lie; eyes can lie (but an eye for eyes can distinguish a glance and a glance).

I will stop elaboration here.

What I must reflect on is the need for men to treat their sisters with love; to use them as a stand-in source of attention when the partner is out of reach is not loving. Soon it will cause the sister to stumble as well. This is an unpleasant topic, but I must address it in my reflection. It is a topic that is comfortably communicated when one has a clear conscience. It is something that we must be accountable for towards ourselves, towards others, the loved ones who trust us, and God.

"Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit is what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want." Gal5:16-17

Burning the Candle too Fast
I seem to be thinking of candles a lot lately. But this has to do with spiritual growth; I reflected that I might be having too anxious a desire for spiritual growth. This causes a rapid upshoot but is unsustainable; eventually I will fall back, not to where I started, but a fall nonetheless. This is similar to the economics of diminishing marginal returns plus fluctuation.

Another analogy: Saving money. We could suddenly want to rack up huge savings and decide we'll have bread and water 'from now on' so that we can save a certain truckload by x number of months. This is also unsustainable; saving is a faithful consistent setting-aside of a disciplined amount that grows over years.

I was reminded of the seeds that were sown on rocky places (Matt13:5) which 'sprang up quickly because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.'


Therefore, eagerly desire growth, and spiritual gifts (1Cor12:31), but in a faithful, consistent daily manner. Give your growth time also to take root, that you may grow consistently. This is being like the seed planted in good soil that grows, eventually bearing fruit 30, 60 and 100-fold.

End notes: Sorry I really can't take time to add photos to make this make aesthetically appealing, believe me I would love to do so. This week I will face two assignments and an econs test; expect another 7 days of silence. The addition of 3 posts in 2 nights should be enough to view for now.